Seriously, have you noticed people smell differently even if they wear the same cologne? I wonder…
Unseen battles
In a man’s life he sees, hears, tastes, smells and feels different things. That way, he learns. In the pursuit of knowledge, we often need to make some experiments and not most people are willing to be guinea pigs. There are times when you are your only test subject.
For all my life, I have been in search for perfection. Perfection meaning to be virtuous and good but in the right quantities. In my search for perfection and balance, the scales continue tipping in their indecisiveness leaving me with uncertainty about the right path.
Buddhism speaks of the middle way: not too much and not too little, just right. But what is just right? I hope I find out before I get sick.
Why must we always drag people into our own little personal battles. Must we always claim we have a battalion when all we really have is one mere soldier? What are the benefits of doing that anyway? The overconfidence makes you careless and the exaggeration makes your enemy prepared. Oh well…
I will not call myself a writer for a writer writes. My thoughts are merely cramped up inside my big head with the occasional steaming out of unnecessary hot air. If I do write, will anyone understand what I am trying to say? One cannot be sure in today’s superficial world but I can’t be sure at all if I don’t even try.
“The worst feeling is not death but feeling that you don’t even exist.” That was a quote from one of my nameless imaginary characters. I believe that he is right. Death is the state of thoughtlessness where one does not feel and therefore, does not learn. That is my definition of death. When the heart stops beating and the body decays, the person is not completely dead for imprints of his thoughts and memories are preserved through the people the s/he touched during his lifetime. But when I person does not exist, her/his thoughts will not matter for others will think that s/he has none to share (or even if there is a s/he to share thoughts with).
“Those stars have long been dead yet there light still shines upon us.” a supporting statement to the last paragraph. Did you know that the stars we see in the night sky are merely the leftover light that traveled to the Earth a billion years ago. Once the star giving of the light dies, the light will also fade away…but it will take some time. Just like people. When they die, they will still be in our lives lighting our dark sky to show the way.
My fear: not knowing myself and forgetting who I am. That’s why I try to get acquainted with myself every little bit I can.
“Never forget the past. Live for the present. Dream of the future.”
Thank you for taking the time to read the rants and thoughts of an ordinary Filipino teenage girl who should be doing her homework right now.
Barf, Gag, Gack, etc.
My barely digested food has been to and fro from my stomach to my mouth too many times and I’m glad that not many people I know read this freaking blog *sigh*. Things that have made me baby-barf this week:
- That freaky scented paper with various unquotable quotes that’s displayed for everyone to see about this guy called “Dwared” that girls are getting crazy about.
- Badly thought of, badly written, badly delivered plain, bad, and trying-hard stories.
- Pick-up lines. (They’re probably called pick-up lines cause the guy probably just picked them up in a trashcan somewhere)
- Spoiled lettuce
- Flirty, two-sided girls that like to walk with a group of guys in the dark while saying “Oh my! You guys are so brave.” (double barf)
- Waffles with spoiled cheese inside.
- Guys who think that they’re so cool.
- Teenagers who are break out into monolouges saying that they want to be different from everybody else.
Let me explain the last bullet. We all know that you guys are in search for your identity and want to be part of a crowd without actually just being the crowd. That’s nice and all, but you don’t have to make a terribly long speech everytime you find out you’re BMI is normal, or someone calls you or your work OK. You don’t seriously think that you are the only ones who feel that way. And what about the poeple who are trying so hard to be normal?!
Sometimes you guys try way too hard to be different to a point it where becomes annoying. That’s why I hate self-acclaimed emos. Gack! It’s like: “Hey world! I’m emo! I’m in pain and everyone must know about it!” Argh! You’re trying so hard to be different that you become the generic teenager.
“I don’t want to be the run-of-the-mill guy…” Ugh, Gag me with a spoon! Everybody doesn’t want to be run-of-the-mill! So why don’t you just be happy and let people appreciate you for who you are! Grr… talk about vanity.
P.S. I will not write in Taglish or Engalog. It is an insult to both the languages that’s why I was so angry when I heard the yahoo filipino audibles.
Teenage Drama?!
Today was particularly happy day not to mention the ACTS party however one thing bothers me. What is that, you might ask? In a word, DRAMA; specifically, teenage drama.
When I was a child, I didn’t like teenagers. What is up with their stupid clothes that are either too tight or too loose, or with their forced accents or them getting angry with their parents over little bickering that otherwise could have been easily solved if they haven’t been so melodramatic. They think they know everything so they disregard the opinions of a much mature and experienced mind. Ah yes, teenagers.
This may seem strange since I am in my own adolescent stage where I too am experiencing (hormonal) changes, but I have noticed something during my stay with my prepubescent peers. It is the usual “I am not who you think I am.” or the more aggressive “You think you know me but you don’t!” I believe this is due to their search of their “identity” amongst their circle of friends and they are showing signs of dissatisfaction with the “identity” that this circle has bestowed upon them.
I may understand this dissatisfaction since most of their comrades are, indeed, quick in judgement however one cannot help but judge according to what the senses behold. How can you not say a person personality is like that if that is what his actions and words reflect?
Here is typical conversation among adolescents:
Guy#1: What’s wrong? You look down.
Guy#2: You wouldn’t understand.
Yes, this only shows how teenagers think that they know everything and if they couldn’t help themselves, certainly no one can. Of course, it is better to seek, even a little bit, of help from others (specially from their age group who are likely experiencing similar problems) and how can Guy#1 dare to hope of understanding what the problem is if Guy#2 won’t tell him?! Again, I dislike teenagers.
Thank you.
Random ranting: Of “Emo” People
Why are there emo people? I mean, what is up with them?!?! They think that they’re the only people in the world with problems! And hello… hurting yourself and moping around all day won’t solve your problems! And what is up with other people?! It’s not like “I’m running out of problems AND blood! Yehey for me!!!” They think just because I person doesn’t talk and/or is a loner and/or likes songs with deep lyrics and/or thinks deeply about himself/herself and/or has hair that covers his/her face…. then s/he is emo. That is so superficial!!!! e.i. Look that guy’s has really weird hair and is mute… Oh MY gosh, he is so Emo!!!!
I hope all you emo people out there find some strength or light to see that there is no need to be emotional over those “huge” problems of yours’ and for all those other people:OH MY GOSH, YOU Sooooooooooooooooooooo DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO JUDGE!!! :p
